


Fatum

by sp8ce



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Absence, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Complicated Relationships, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Memories, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Summer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-03-08 10:49:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18893116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sp8ce/pseuds/sp8ce
Summary: During the summer before his senior year, Sollux has an unexpected figure from his past suddenly show up at the rehearsal for his mother's wedding. Adolescence is figuring things out. And being confused. Life is memories, hope, doom, and some sort of fate in the way things logically sit in.





	1. Inopinatum

Sollux Captor remained sick of the heat and sick of the feeling of his practicing tie around his neck. Why was choreography necessary to plan for the reception? What purpose did it serve other than to piss him off? He stood, shifting from foot to foot in the hot, rather loud tent that his mother’s new fiancee had spent too much money on. There was a small flap at the roof that he turned his eyes up to. The sky was eerily bright blue like it could oversaturate itself from the weight of the heat it was holding. In all reality, it probably wasn’t much over 80 degrees, but Sollux was bitter and suffering in his jeans, t-shirt, and  _ god awful _ tie. He tugged at it so it was loose.

He’d just spent the last hour and a half entertaining, and by entertaining he meant seeming as normal and cheerful as possible--for his mother’s sake. There were a lot of people he didn’t want to see there. The watermelon with lunch had been nice, though. Elisa’d brought that. Sollux’d made honey, sweet iced-tea as a sign of respect. It probably tasted eerily like water, but hey, everyone needed hydration!

Sollux was contemplating a lot of stuff, but a lot of people would probably just see the sullen seventeen-year old looking miserably around the place. In reality, he was wondering why Aradia had refused to partake in anything except attending the wedding since she usually loved this sort of thing (and he was suffering. She’d know that). He was wondering about how he should’ve double-knotted his shoe this morning and how that was probably a sign he forgot something else big, like taking his meds, but he left it untied and thought more. Every summer, his mind always would get drawn back to  _ one _ character, but that thought just made him mad. Because that one mess didn’t even know his mother’s getting married. That one sad disarray of a human didn’t even know that his father left. But old habits die hard, so that was on his mind.

He tried to drag his mind back to more present matters, such as  Aradia’s absence. She  _ knew _ he hated facing stuff like this, but she didn’t  _ want _ to come? Well, he didn’t want to come! And sure, she didn’t even know his soon-to-be new dad, but what did that matter? She was his best friend!

A semi-new pop hit starts up with a techno-esque beat, and Sollux knew it was showtime. There was very little he enjoyed about anything related to this wedding, but his big grand gesture at the end in front of the audience (who was anyone kidding, they’re just gonna be on their phones) was the one thing getting him through this. So far, he hadn’t tried to pull it off at all because it was quite ridiculous and involved soaking himself through with water. It also involved the possibility of his mother finding out and stopping him from doing it at the actual wedding. But this was the last time he had to practice, so he had to take the chance.

Everyone was going to end up back in the tent except Sollux and his brother Mituan. His mother wanted them to be the showcase of this entire great 3-minute-long disaster. Sollux knew he was going to achieve this wish. He took his place, and then got into motion.

It mostly just took a lot of prancing about needlessly. Sollux highly doubted this was regular wedding tradition, but his mom was smiling pretty widely right now, so he continued. He ended up twirling out of the side flap of the tent to make his way to the front--his and Mituan’s final spot. In front of where they were supposed to end up was the refreshment table which included a giant bowl of water. Sollux realised that he quite wanted that on his head in this weather anyways, even if it meant being annoyed and how squishy, wet, and uncomfortable he was.

Sollux heard the climax of the song where it was about to immediately, jazzily cut off, and grabbed the water. Only Mituan would know that he was actually choosing to that this time, since everyone else was in the tent, but he knew that was no matter. Sollux grabbed it and right on the last note, poured the contents of the thing over his head. It wasn’t until he was drenched in water, head to toe, that he realised that it was kind of a really dumb move. He dropped the bowl, it meeting the now gelatinous ground with a squelching noise, and posed, his eyes shut from the glare of the sun even through his dual-toned glasses and the water causing sunscreen to assail them. Because of his visual impediment, he couldn’t be certain of the voice talking to him; shock rushed through his body.

“Hey Sol, miss me?” His pronounced accent was too much a hint, but Sollux couldn’t believe it. He opened his eyes, cringing with the burn. Surely enough, a boy with incredibly stroke-liable clothing (a black suit and green tie in  _ this _ weather?) and black hair with a bleached, fading green strand getting in his eyes.

“ _ Eridan _ ?” Sollux cried out. He heard shuffling from in the tent, everyone getting on sociably away from him. He realised how ridiculous he must look, gawking at the boy, covered in (even if drying very quickly) water, his jaw literally unhinged in amazement. He felt the sun beat down on the back of his head. 

“Glad to be recognised,” Eridan said. It almost felt like Eridan’s mocking him--which he probably kinda was knowing Eridan, which Sollux doesn’t really, not at this point. 

“What the-----” Sollux looks around, realising he wants out of the sun, out of trying to look at Eridan and not being able to, like Eridan is metaphorically too bright and unreal for him when it’s just the freaking chemicals out of being in this position of facing Eridan again when he  _ never _ expected to happen. What had it been? Over two years? Three? Since they last  _ spoke _ . This was ridiculous. He turned around and left, straight into the tent, and hoped that Eridan wouldn’t follow him.

Of course Eridan would fucking follow him. Sollux walked to his mother so Eridan might shut up and not say anything since it was in front of somebody else. She was currently talking to one of the friends who was saying this dancing shit was a  _ great _ idea, fun and spontaneous and the guest’s’ll love it. Sollux wanted to laugh.

“Hey, Sol...” Sollux felt Eridan touch his hand. He flinched back and literally  _ hissed _ at him. Okay, maybe he was being a little dramatic about this. Maybe Eridan had that effect on him. Or  _ did _ . How long had it fucking  _ been _ ? Eridan was looking more frustrated now, and Sollux wanted to get his mom’s attention to goad Eridan to  _ stop _ . To leave him alone. To get on without whatever the fuck it was he was doing and get back to his fancy life with his fancy new house and his fancy new school and fancy new friends that were  _ so much better _ than Sollux. Sollux wanted to bite Eridan’s head off, but he was going to settle with ignoring the hell out of them till it turned out this  _ didn’t exist. _

Because it didn’t. And Sollux really wanted it to.

“Mom,” Sollux said, trying to get her attention. She made a hand gesture with her hand, flashing the brilliant ring on it and her deep teal nails, to let him know she was  _ busy _ talking to  _ someone else _ . He tried again. “Mom!” She looked at him and smiled.

“Oh, hi, Sollux...” He could practically feel the weight of Eridan’s presence as he remained behind Sollux, waiting. Probably also wondering what the fuck Sollux  _ was _ doing. Like Sollux knew yet. If only the flowers on his mom’s dress could liven up the tension between the two boys.

“I’m going to Aradia’s,” he said. His mom smiled. 

“Alright! See you before dusk though! Remember you gotta sleep for tomorrow!” 

She’s been annoyingly happy the last few weeks. Sollux nodded.

Sollux turned again, and he felt Eridan grab his hand a few feet later. Sollux was  _ flipping out  _ now. The room was noisy, and Eridan should  _ know  _ better. Sollux jerked his hand from Eridan’s reach turning back to make it more effective. He caught the look on Eridan’s face, and it made something inside of him break. The anger flooded out. He just needed to get  _ out _ of there. He wanted to be with Aradia.

“Sol, hey. At least just have a small chat?” Eridan asked. He looked  _ hopeful. _ Like Sollux would ever agree to that. Does Eridan really expect to randomly appear back in his life like that and for Sollux to act  _ rational _ ? It was ridiculous. Sollux flipped him off, not wanting to draw the attention of cussing, and left, glad his profanity was left unnoticed.

He felt Eridan following him, and once they were a decent distance away from the tent, far enough away no one could know how truly angry he was, did he turn around again to face the fresh-faced boy with that  _ ridiculous _ tie. At least, they were by a tree. If all failed, Sollux would just climb up it and step on Eridan’s fingers if he tried to follow. He settled by the trunk, feeling the cool bark and the way the shade made his eyes hurt less.

“Fuck you,” Sollux said. He was quiet for a minute. Usually Eridan was quick to retort, but it seemed like he was taking a break from being that much of an asshole. Maybe he used up his quota when he came back at all. “Fuck this. I’m leaving.” He really did just want to be with Aradia. She was only a ten minute walk away.

“Sol, wait,” Eridan said, his accent popping out on the “w”. 

“What do you want? Why do you expect me to even  _ remember _ you? You were what? An annoying acquaintance of mine years ago?” Sollux refused to look at him. He heard the way Eridan drew in his breath at that. The overwrought bastard. He was annoyingly dramatic at a level Sollux could even manage to achieve, or so he thought. Then, Eridan moves around to face him, sitting on the grass in his fancy black suit and staring intensely at Sollux. It was unnerving. And also very very creepy.

“Why would you care so much about not caring if you didn’t care?” he responded. Sollux laughed, and he could see the hurt on Eridan’s face which made him laugh harder because  _ he’s _ an  _ asshole  _ and he knew it, but it hurt, and he didn’t care.

“I think you’re looking too much into it,” Sollux replied nonchalantly. He didn’t find himself leaving though. But maybe that was just because the shade was a relief, and to get to Aradia’s, he had to cross a huge lawn of open sunshine and then walk down a road for nearly a mile with very little cover.

“I don’t get why  _ you’re _ so mad,” Eridan commented. He dropped his gaze towards Sollux’s mismatched shoes. “I don’t get it.”

“You’re not fucking listening, nitwit. I’m not mad. I just don’t understand what reaction you want, and I don’t want to put up with your shit.” Sollux let his animosity flow free. He saw the gauges turn. He pissed Eridan off badly. Good. Eridan was good at getting mad. And it was in a different way than Sollux. It was funny to watch, if not a little pathetic, in Sollux’s mind. He stood up, and he was towering over Sollux to some extent, and kicked hard at the tree. The thudding noise startled Sollux more than he’d liked to have admitted. He was scared of the boy.

“What if I told  _ you _ you’re dead to me?” Eridan blared at him. “What if I told you that you don’t matter to me. That I came back to  _ your _ mom’s weddin’ rehearsal just because I was bored, an there was nothin’ else to do. What if I told you that I never wanted you in my life in any form  _ ever _ . You messed up  _ freak _ . What if I told you  _ you were dead to me _ .” He kicked the tree again for good measure. Before he let the energy keep flowing, he did wait for some sort of response from Sollux, but Sollux didn't oblige. This infuriated Eridan more, and he stalked off, finally leaving  _ Sollux _ instead of the other way around. Sollux found that rather funny, and laughed to himself about how hot Eridan was. Literally, of course, with his burning rage and his black suit and the beating sun. He watched Eridan go into the distance, shaking his hands in his hysterics. Sollux noted how Eridan kept looking back, trying to be inconspicuous and failing at showing how he  _ did _ want Sollux to  _ do something more _ , even if he was the one stalking away. Eridan gave him every invitation to follow him with that, to open up more communication and make it not end with that, with Eridan’s glances getting longer. Sollux could just say he looked to pathetic, or he thought he needed help since he was looking back, and he was in the ridiculous heat with his ridiculous suit. There were a million opportunities, but Sollux just stayed there and thought to himself.

“ _ Well, I thought I was already dead to you. _ ”


	2. Recordare

Sollux decided he couldn’t just stay under the nice coverage of shade from the tree forever. Sure, it was hot as hell, and he thought he might literally die from the heat, but he was as much of a fool as Eridan, running off all hot into the distance, if he was too scared to face the walk to Aradia’s. He kinda just really wanted to be with her right then. She was main person in his life he trusted.

They had met just after Eridan had moved when they were fourteen. She’d been a new kid in the school, and Sollux was a loner who didn’t really know what to do without the capability to spend lunch trading snark with Eridan. But she just came over to him at lunch--where he’d been eating alone--on that first day of school to compliment his dark demeanour and then was shocked by his eyes being different colours. She’d have seemed over the top if it were anyone but her . She could pull of anything with her charisma. Sollux knew now she had major issues, maybe even greater ones than he had, but he was convinced she really would become a famous archaeologist because he believed she could do anything.

She would also remember how he used to give out about Eridan. It was weird, how fast he’d come to trust her when they were younger. It was probably because he’d been so alone when they’d met, but it was also just something about Aradia. And that something also made him want to be with her right now.

So he made the awful trek through the summer air to make it to her house. She was inside playing one of her Indiana Jones games with a glass of honey ice tea beside her. Sollux walked in, and she paused the game to greet him.

“Hey! What’s up?” She said, and she greeted Sollux with a hug. Usually, he’d get as far away as possible if someone tried to hug him, but he was quite comfortable with her.

“Yeah, uh...” he started. He didn’t know what to really say. Was it okay if he just talked about this random shit thing that just happened?

“What’s going on?” Aradia asked, her serious tone taking place. It was so kind. She sat down on the couch and beckoned Sollux to do the same.

“He’s back,” Sollux said vaguely. He shivered as a fan running blasted his sweaty skin.

“Who’s back?” Aradia asked for clarification. Sollux supposed he really wasn’t describing any of this well. He wasn’t describing the shock of seeing Eridan, how he could barely see or register it even now. It was like the sun was still in his eyes.

“Eridan. I don’t know if you remember...”

“That loser you complained about for months?” she clarified. There was definitely anger in her tone, but it was so good-natured that it was so comforting.

“Yeah. He just showed up at the wedding rehearsal,” he admitted. His tone was down now, unsure. He didn’t know what to do. “He followed me around for a bit. And then got angry at me and stormed off.”

“Well, I think it’s great he’s back!” Aradia decided, excitement in her voice. “As hard as it is, at least he’s here .”

“Yeah. Now I’m just waiting for the devil to show his horned head and throw a hissy fit, yelling, and for you to say it’s a good thing,” Sollux said. Aradia rose her eyebrow at him, and Sollux noticed how silky her hair looked today. It made both her hair and her brown skin look glowing.

“You can still, y’know. Do your thing. Tell him to fuck off. Be sarcastic and mean about it. But you could always let him back into your life,” she replied. “It’s not like he’s going to kill you.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he did,” he retorted, but he was afraid to say the next thing out loud. “What about when he leaves again? I don’t think he’s moving back here.” Sollux wouldn’t have admitted that to anyone besides her. She smiled.

“Use that internet thing we’re all so fond of!” He squinted his eyes at her.

“That didn’t happen last time,” he said. Great, now the feelings of hurt started flooding in instead of just bitterness and anger.

“You didn’t try very hard,” Aradia said. Immediately, Sollux felt like he was hit by an electric shock.

“He knew how to contact me!” Sollux gave out. “He knew. He left, and then he didn’t even try.”

“It’s okay.” Aradia, the gall of her. She didn’t even seem to be perturbed. “But I could see through you even then. And you want him in your life. Now, just like then.”

“AA,” she smiled; she loved it when he used a nickname for her. He liked how simple it was to double her name into two A’s while making it make sense in some way. “That was three years ago.”

“And you’re so upset still about it, we’re having the conversation,” she said. Damn, she had a point. Sollux grimaced.

“And I totally wouldn’t have a conversation over the last shit I took,” Sollux bit out sarcastically. Aradia just looked at him, and he conceded. She made him feel calmer despite the vibrant, sometimes disconcerting, energy she gave off. He saw her turn her head to the right several times before looking back at him. In the lapse of talking, in forgetting about Eridan and that entire fiasco, Sollux realised he had something else he ought to bring up with Aradia. He was then suddenly bitter. He rubbed his finger against the leather of the couch tensely.

“What is it?” Aradia asked. Sollux kind of felt himself shake with anger a bit, but he wasn’t really shaking, not like he would if he weren’t on his meds. Then one could practically see sparks flying.

“It’s fine. I’ve disturbed you enough. Obviously, your video games are much more important than me,” Sollux gave out. Aradia squinted at him. He got up, staggering a bit from dizziness from the dehydration of the heat. Sun rays passed through the window while a lazy fan made it back to Sollux to make him shiver again.

“You’re upset,” Aradia noted. Sollux rolled his eyes. He didn’t retort, though.

“I’m going home.” He fully did plan on leaving then too, storming off somewhat like Eridan except he wasn’t pathetic enough to actually look back at her. Except when she spoke up.

“I’ll explain that later, okay? But I will be at the wedding,” she said. Sollux realised he hadn’t really given her a chance to explain, but he didn’t care. He wasn’t like Eridan. He wasn’t trying to goad a response. He actually wanted to leave.

Luckily, there were trees along the town sidewalk most of the way back to his apartment. He basked in their shade as he walked.

\---

Sollux spent a good three hours coding in a nice air-conditioned, dark room before he heard someone breaking in. He was a bit surprised at it: he was pretty sure he didn’t lock the apartment door. He cautiously opened his bedroom door to see what was going on, the main hallway and space being outside it. He saw the handle on the cabinet beside the entrance shift, and his stomach fell down through his gut. Of course. He was shaking a bit more noticeably now which he definitely didn’t want to do considering he knew who it was. Who else would go through a weird plank into a dank, damp closet instead of knocking or even opening the front door?

Only one fucking person would. And he was sick of this kid’s shit.

For shits and giggles, he decided to go and hold the handle to block Eridan’s attempt to open it. It required him dashing over to hold the brass handle in place, but the struggle he felt from the other side and the confusion he knew were there was worth it. He finally pushed through, but it was a mistake in the end because Eridan came barrelling out at Sollux, his force actually knocking Sollux to the ground. Sollux just couldn’t understand why Eridan’d go to all that effort just to get in that way.

Actually, he did. Eridan wanted to make that entrance the same reason Sollux didn’t want him to. This had been Sollux’s meagre retaliation.

“W-what the fuck , Sol?” he gave out, his stutter coming out a bit. It stays strong when he continues. “Why?” Sollux was too busy snickering on the dark hardwood floors as Eridan was standing up dusting himself off. “Was that really necessary?”

“Was getting through that way really? Like, I don’t even know how you remembered,” Sollux responded, but by saying that he was actually trying to gauge just exactly how much he still meant to Eridan and how much of this was actually in his head. He definitely had enough of Eridan to piss him off and make him rant then stalk away, but then again who didn’t . Sollux remained in a state of confusion for the fact he even could see Eridan again. He really did think Eridan had completely forgotten about him.

“I used to sneak in all the time. Sneakin’ inta see your slimy face isn’t somethin’ you’d forget,” he retorted. He offered Sollux a hand to get up, and Sollux recoiled in disgust. He got up himself, but it was a ridiculous display of discontent. Sollux always ended up feeling ridiculous around Eridan because he was brought into Eridan’s pettiness. He had to work really hard to pretty he was unaffected and that it was all absurd; that he was above it.

Sollux decided to give a simple display of maturity. He simply walked outside the door (which had been unlocked), shutting it behind him. He knocked on the door he’d just shut. No one answered. He then grabbed the handle and turned it, walking in.

“Wow, I got to say. That was difficult.” Sollux didn’t even mention the fact Eridan just stopped by his house unannounced because he was pretty giddy and joyful about that, not that he’d admit it.

“This place hasn’t changed a bit,” Eridan said. He walked into Sollux’s mother’s room. It had big windows that showed the alleyway behind, but still let in enormous amounts of light. Rays caught the dust on her bed and your little brother’s. Both of them were queen sized, and they took up most of the room. Your brother’s had skateboards on it (recently a friend got him obsessed) and your mom’s was light aqua and cotton. Eridan sat down on it.

“I thought this was goin’ to be your room after the renovation,” Eridan said. Sollux blinked at him. It was something Sollux hadn’t thought about in years.

“The other room is for him,” Sollux explained. He shifted a little uneasy though, and he knew Eridan could tell Sollux was a little upset at it.

“Well, I think that’s shitty,” Eridan commented. Sollux felt validated in some way, but he felt angrier that Eridan could make him feel that way, so he snapped back.

“Well, I’m just glad she found someone she can respect enough to make comfortable in the room she put effort into making for herself,” Sollux gave out. Eridan looked taken aback, but Sollux kind of just wanted him to raise his eyebrows at him and call his bluff. Like Aradia would. But Eridan seemed to think Sollux was genuine, so he responded as such.

“I’m sorry. You just talked about it a lot back... then,” Eridan seemed less placid now, his cool demeanour cooling off. “I’m sorry.”

“Just.. get out of my house, okay?” Sollux requested. Now Eridan was grinning. Him and his stupid turbulent emotions.

“Only if you beat me at Call of Duty,” he replied. Sollux was taken aback.

“I have not played that game since I was better than your ass at it back before Freshman year,” Sollux responded.

“I’ll leave you to your own peace of mind if you can do better than me still.” Eridan was grinning. Sollux couldn’t have that. “If you can.”

“It’ll take a few minutes.”

Someone they ended up playing for a half hour, but it was clear Sollux was much better, but he liked hearing Eridan give out at every little thing to stop. Eventually, he remembered who Eridan was and how much he did want Eridan gone to have his own peace of mind, but Eridan left with a smile on his face as if he’d somehow won something.


	3. Ridiculum

Sollux really hated the pills. Not the meaning behind them, no, he didn’t ever dare think about that. He didn’t think about how they were keeping him sane or how they controlled his emotions to make his them tangible to him. He just thought about how stupid it was that he had to swallow them every day for the rest of his life, or at least foreseeably.

At least then it was convincing him to drink some water because it was fucking hot.

Today there were no obligations. The wedding wasn’t until Saturday, and he hadn’t promised Aradia anything, so he was pretty much free. This, of course, meant he’d sleep in till past noon. He woke up in the semi-darkness of his poorly lit room with a trail of dust visible by the rays of light. Everything stunk. He hoped Eridan hadn’t noticed that when he was over because Sollux hadn’t at the time.

Eridan. Another conundrum. Part of Sollux really just wanted to find Eridan and spend every second of time with him he could until the douchebag disappeared again because he would; he fucking would. The larger part was a bitter grudge-holding piece of trash that wanted Eridan to suffer to try to even become slightly a part of Sollux’s life again. Obviously, it won out.

Hot noodles for breakfast sounded like a death wish, but it was either that or fake butter on toast, so he was pretty much boiling alive by the time he was finished his “breakfast”. After that, he washed his face with cold water and put on some deodorant in lieu of a shower. Perfect. He probably wouldn’t leave the apartment today anyways.

Absentmindedly, he wondered where Eridan might be, but he tried to throw the thought away. Far too much of his mind was on Eridan when it really needn’t be.

It’s not like Eridan meant anything to him. It’s not like Eridan really had any part of him; Sollux wasn’t the same person he was three years ago. He barely knew who that person was.

Sollux racked his brain for something he could do to fill his time. Summers were always hard. Ever since he’d been fired from his job, he’d had nothing to do to fill the time, really. He could just lay down in his bed in a self-deprecating mess huddled under blankets that needed to be washed, but that wouldn’t really align with his behavioural therapy thing, so he decided to go for a walk.

When he exited the apartment complex he felt lost. The sky used to feel too big, but now it felt nonexistent. It used to feel like pressure above him, had for weeks and sometimes still did, but now it just felt like he couldn’t look up without hurting his eyes. Regardless, it made being outside a lot easier.

He went down to the park, probably from nostalgia. He wouldn’t have wanted to admit that the river, to this day, reminded him of summer days, splashing in water and climbing trees and playing Pokemon games--days before the ones that filled his mind with craze then haze. He didn’t even know who he’d been then.

“I didn’t know you still came here,” he heard from behind. He turned around to see Eridan, grass in his hair matching his green hair streak matching stains on his white shirt.

“You fuck on the grass?” Sollux commented. He didn’t know what else to say. Eridan looked abashed, his mouth opening indignantly, as if to respond, but he didn’t say anything. “Are you stalking me or some shit?”

“You don’t own this park you know!” he seemed rather upset.

“What, and you do?”

“More than you!”

“And why would that be?” Sollux couldn’t believe he was giving into these petty games. They were sitting there arguing loudly at each other in this sanctuary of theirs, the trees giving them shade, the sound of the rushing water. But Eridan was acting ridiculous, so Sollux ended up back in his mess, stuck in these ridiculous conversations.

His heart was pounding. He felt elated.

“I’ve thought about it more than you!” Eridan responded after an age. His face was ridiculous, lips pressed tight, pouting. He was so ridiculous. Sollux couldn’t think of anything besides how ridiculous he was. (And the fact Eridan had thought about this place that must mean him; he thought about..)

“Yeah, well I think we can tell pretty easily who’s been here more.”

“Fuck you. Go away.” Eridan was scowling now. His eyes seemed harder, beady almost. Sollux rolled his eyes. Why did all of this make him feel more attached to Eridan? Why did he feel so thrilled, so ecstatic? Why did he want to engage?

“No. I’m going to walk by the river, and I dare you to stop me,” Sollux responded. He left and started to walk down the hill before he felt the wind knocked out of him. Eridan just tackled him from behind. He couldn’t believe it. If Eridan had been trying to stop him from getting to the river, he had horribly failed. They went tumbling towards it. Sollux managed to stop his momentum before falling into the stream, but Eridan just stopped moving with half his body caught in a current. Sollux offered him a hand immediately, as Eridan fought to sit up. Eridan accepted and came out dripping wet.

“I literally cannot believe you just did that,” Sollux said.

“You know me, never could turn down a dare,” Eridan mumbled, obviously embarrassed. He was very disgruntled, the collar of his shirt wet and muddy. He sighed. “At least it’s summer,” he said, before taking his shirt off. Sollux pointedly did not look at his chest, and instead looked past his face, avoiding his eyes like he always did, despite how cool they might look, changing colours in different lights, sometimes even looking purple.

“I’m pretty sure you did the opposite of stopping me from walking by the river. In fact, I think you sped up the process.”

“No, I think I’m gonna succeed,” Eridan said. He was a little less upset-looking now, some life coming back into his face with the challenge. God, Sollux felt alive. Meds couldn’t do shit. (Oh shit what if this is bad Oh shit what if he shouldn’t be feeling this Oh shit.)

“Really?” Sollux responded, gesturing to where they were.

“You said you wanted to ‘walk’ by the river. You’re not gonna do that,” Eridan responded.

“And what, by chance, am I going to do instead? Walk back up the hill and leave at your so command?”

“Talk to me,” Eridan said, and he said it with so much conviction despite the wavering, hesitant tremble at the end. “Sit by the river and talk to me.”

“About what? Pokemon games? I’m not fourteen anymore, ED,” Sollux said, immediately regretting the nickname slip-up.

“What’s the guy like, that you’re mom’s marryin’?” Eridan asked.

“Are you trying to get me to throw you into the river?”

“Sol, I just want to talk to you.”

“You had three years to do that. At this point, it’s too much to even make up for.” Sollux grimaced at how much he was letting out, at over-sharing as one might say, and at Eridan’s confused face. He stood up to walk away, and he felt Eridan tackle him again, to the ground this time, successfully and not down a hill. Eridan was above him, shirtless, pinning him to the marshy, warm soil. The smell of earth and grass was intense, and he was looking in Eridan’s eyes and it was intense, too much, he had to look away.

“That’s gay, Eridan,” Sollux said. “Gay and rude.” Something cold passed over Eridan’s face when he said that. Sollux had meant to de-escalate the situation, not suck the life out of Eridan. Was Eridan gay? He had never talked about liking girls...

“I’m not tryna make up anythin’ up to you,” Eridan said forcefully. He rolled beside Sollux, sides pressed together, Sollux rather close to the stream. The noise of it was distracting. “You went through a lot of shit, didn’t you? And I missed it.”

“What else would you expect?”

“It wasn’t my choice. It never was. I never chose to leave. I didn’t ask my dad to move to some city in some fancy house. He just did. I was fourteen.” Sollux forgot that Eridan could beat anyone at over-sharing, even if Sollux were as compulsive as hell.

“That’s... it doesn’t matter? Regardless, we don’t know anything about each other now. You don’t know anything about me. You wouldn’t want to.”

“I think...”

“You never think.”

“Okay, let me say this, Sol.” Eridan sat up, as if to make this serious. Sollux felt weird, lying down still, so he sat up too. “I think we know more ‘bout each other than nearly anyone else. I think that what we were when we were friends was important because it was before whatever you think changed you, all the stuff that’s ‘changed’ me. We’re still who we were. We’ve just got more layers to peel down. So, to you sayin’ I wouldn’t wanna, I just say try me.” Sollux felt a rush of affection, of love towards Eridan. Like the joy he felt messing around with Eridan, being pushed down a hill, Eridan desperate to make him stay and Eridan’s principles. Eridan was so ridiculous.

“You’re so ridiculous.”

“You love it.”

“So,” Sollux said, changing the subject because, while he might deny half the insane stuff Eridan says whether it’s true or not, he couldn’t quite deny that. “Why did your dad move? Did he ever fully explain it. Was it really because of a promotion?”

“Right, I forgot how shady he’d been about it. Yeah. It was the promotion, but, uh. I think it was also because he was fuckin’ his assistant, and she wanted to see LA. She came with and lived with us for a while.”

“Fucking hell, man.”

“Yeah. She’d leave rooms seconds after him and was always draping around in nothing but this tight tank top and short ass skirt...”

And so they talked and talked. Eridan was the one mostly opening up, mostly just about the move, not much recent, never much recent. Sollux didn’t let on to the craze or the haze or the pain or anything. Eridan admitted he still played Pokemon, and Sollux laughed, and kind of wanted to kiss him for it, but that was a thought for another time.

Sollux never did walk by the lake, but he was too content to think about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it! I'd appreciate any comments or feedback at all!


	4. Remaneo I

There was never anything quite like summer with Eridan, and there never had been. But when evening came that night, and Sollux invited Eridan to eat some dinner at a local diner, Eridan bashfully declined.

“Jorgenson's has gotten way better since you’ve graced its presence,” Sollux said. They’d gone from the riverbank to climbing on top of the park’s bathroom’s roof.

“What about ‘no shirt no service’,” Eridan said. Sollux dared a glance at Eridan who was looking down nervously at his chest.

“Go home or to your five-star hotel or wherever the fuck you’re staying and change and meet me there in twenty?”

“I said no,” Eridan said rather loudly. He pulled his legs to his chest. Sollux could hear the sound of the twigs scraping against the roof with Eridan’s movement. Something dangerously equating to sorrow was threatening to push through Sollux’s chest. One of his meds allows mood swings depending on who-the-fuck-knows (surely not his doctors), so Sollux decided to assume it was that.

“A few hours together, two days in a row is probably overload anyways, considering how hard you tried to avoid me for years,” Sollux sniped out. He was glancing at Eridan, who remained looking tentative and refused to defend himself. It was remarkable how much less hot Sollux felt after their splashing contest in the river earlier. A slight breeze hit his damp shirt, and he actually felt like he wasn’t dying. Speaking of which, he just might do exactly that--die--if he didn’t drink water soon. A few gulps from the park’s rusting water-fountain probably wasn’t adequate given all the circumstances.

“Maybe we could hang out after dinner?” Eridan asked, and he still looked so tentative. Usually, he was so brash.

“What, family plans with Mr. One Percent,” Sollux bit back bitterly. It actually made Eridan smile, which was somewhat confusing since Eridan used to defend his father against any sort of quip back in the day. Maybe it was because Sollux had knowingly given him an excuse to not hang out with him.

“Something like that, yeah,” Eridan said. He was still not looking at Sollux, which Sollux usually prefered because eye contact was a fucking nightmare, but the way Eridan was doing it made him furious. He was actually looking at Eridan, waiting for him to look back. The stripe of green in his hair matched the green of the trees.

“Do whatever the hell you want,” Sollux shot under his breath. “Just don’t see me again till you leave, for all I care.” His monotone voice, there, as if it didn’t affect him because it didn’t. He broke a twig in half nervously, as if to pass the time, before he went to storm off. It was funny, all the storming off he and Eridan did, because it’d been a long time since Sollux had felt like a storm had hit him, and he did not want that to happen again.

He stood up, shaking the fallen moss and dirt off, before heading down the side of the bathroom with the park bench beside. He slid too fast and only caught the top of the back of the bench before falling another foot or so onto the bench itself, the collision causing him to grunt. He dared to look back up at Eridan, but he hadn’t even moved. Sollux began to realise that maybe all this storming off was more trying to figure out a way to be asked to stay. But unlike when Eridan opened up by the river and forced him back into Sollux’s mind in a way that made everything too very real, Eridan wasn’t even going to say a word to Sollux’s very disgruntled exit. Whatever. It didn’t matter. Nothing fucking mattered, and that was the entire point.

He got back in time for dinner at home, which mainly consisted of literally nothing besides a microwave ding from his brother’s food being ready. His mom wasn’t home. He downed several glasses of water and went to collapse on his bed. Everything felt so much more empty when he had to think about Eridan, how things used to be. He wished Eridan would come by his house and punch him in the face, throw him against the wall and smash his head in. He wanted punctured skin to puncture a cloud that was his best friend. Or maybe not quite a best friend, but an accepted acquaintance. It was enough.

Busyness was key, so he went to make more ice tea for the oncoming wedding. He seemed to have the viscosity of the honey, however, and it somewhat felt like everything was breaking down, all so slowly. He took his meds two hours early with no food on his stomach because he didn’t want to take them at all.

He cleaned the kitchen and was able to focus solely on that and nothing else. It’d gotten out of hand, with his mom preoccupied with the wedding and his brother being a very messy cook and eater. Everything was positively pristine by the time he finished, and it took him awhile to come back to his surroundings once that focus was gone. Before he really had, there was a knock on the door. The sound reverberated throughout the still apartment, the only noise Mituan’s video game leaking from his tacky, yellow headphones.

Sollux went to get it, a thrill of excitement sparking up deep in his chest. When he opened the door, Eridan was indeed there, looking somewhat small, hunched over in a way he didn’t usually. Sollux noticed he was in the shirt he’d gotten wet earlier, and, while it had dried since the early afternoon, it still had mud around the collar.

“I even knocked this time,” he said, instead of greeting Sollux, standing still. He didn’t even move to go inside or push past Sollux. Was something wrong? Sollux stepped aside to indicate that Eridan was welcome in. Eridan pushed hurriedly past before Sollux shut the door. The last rays of light were shining in, and it made Eridan look golden in his muddy clothes and shrunken demeanour.

“What’s up then,” Sollux said lamely.

“I didn’t mean to blow you off,” Eridan said. Sollux rolled his eyes at Eridan, who, tragically, wasn’t looking at him to see it, so Sollux sighed audibly. This wasn’t a big deal, was it? Why was Eridan making it into a big deal?

“You don’t need to spend time with me,” Sollux said. “You’re not my friend.”  Eridan finally looked straight at him at that. He looked hurt.

“I wanna spend time with you,” Eridan said. He pulled at the collar of his shirt, fidgetting mucky fabric like he used to do to his old lavish scarf. Sollux sighed yet again. He was going to have to get real , wasn’t he? Over something this ridiculous?

“I don’t care that you didn’t want to grab a bite at Jorgenson’s,” Sollux said, though it wasn’t entirely true. He wanted to fall back into place with Eridan and eat crappy food at their old place like they’d been living in the world they used to reside that afternoon. But they could do that anytime, theoretically. Sollux meant to add to that, to explain why he was actually upset, but somehow he couldn’t word it right. Eridan could sense the lack of completion of his thought, and he waited, but the words just got too convoluted. Sollux wasn’t sure what he felt.

“I may be shit at readin’ people, but I’m not that shit,” Eridan finally said after Sollux didn’t continue.

“I just mean, you could’ve at least come up with an excuse. It’s proper fucking etiquette. Or just be straight with me. ‘I needa break from you,’” Sollux said. It’s the best way he could put it. Eridan looked like he wanted to say something to that, but he didn’t. “It’s not a big deal.”

“You stormed off and said we weren’t friends,” Eridan reminded him. Sollux’s feet were starting to hurt. He just wanted to sit down and stare at the sky while the sun set, not deal with this asshole.

“We aren’t.” There was a pause. Sollux went to look at the couch he’d rearranged one night to sit facing the window. The buildings in front blocked most of the light with the sun so low, but it was still quite a beautiful sight, especially from the left side where the rays passed by.

“Whatever,” Eridan said, clearly disgruntled, as he followed Sollux to the couch. The kitchen was to the right, with no doors and a clear view in. “Your kitchen is fuckin’ spotless.”

“It was pretty disgusting a couple hours ago,” Sollux said. He smiled. It was nice to be able to function somewhat.

“Your room any tidier?” Eridan asked. Sollux whacked him on the head.

“Shut up.”

“Quite a cave in there, too. You know, there actually is some natural light, even from the north, if you don’t cover it up with a black sheet?”

“I’m sorry we can’t all have expensive skylights in every room. There’s a room above us. A skylight would be a hole in their floor.” Eridan paused, as if the comment hit him unguarded. It puzzled Sollux.

“You used to complain about my expensive fuckin’ skylight because of the glare, if I do remember correctly,” Eridan ended up saying, grinning.

“If you want natural lighting so badly, let’s just get the fuck out of here,” Sollux said. Eridan shrugged, ready to follow him out. “I gotta piss first give me a sec.” When Sollux came back, Eridan was lounging against the back of the dark green couch. Sollux’s stomach hurt rather badly. He realised he still hadn’t eaten even after taking his meds. He really wasn’t hungry, now, though, nauseous at the thought of food. “Let’s go.”

It was weird, how easy it was to be around Eridan. Sollux thought his thought ridiculous, to find such ease, considering how difficult dealing with Eridan was, but that’s just how Eridan was, and it felt easy. Like the problems and arguments were peace of mind.

Sollux walked past the shops towards the edge of town. He went to sit on the concrete road in the dusk. Eridan sat beside him. They used to do this a lot, just find peace until some idiot driving sixty in the twenty-five would knock them out of their still trance and force them to move until the car’d whiz past. Eridan used to smoke cigarettes, too, and Sollux loathed the smell of it back then, but it was weird how he missed it after Eridan had left.

“You still smoke?” Sollux asked.

“Nah, kicked it,” Eridan said. Sollux smiled. “Bet you’re fuckin’ pleased. Always on me about it.”

“Not really,” Sollux said, though he was. “Would’ve been more so if I still cared about you like then.” Oops. Sollux hadn’t meant to give so much away in his attempt to sound cruel and bitter. He didn’t mean to admit he’d ever cared. But the cement road that dug into the hand supporting his weight like the weight of dusk and the feeling in his throat that resembled a sentiment that some sort of pre-blur him knew made it too blatant to ignore.

“I’ll start it again, then,” Eridan said. Sollux turned his head and squinted through the low light to look at Eridan like the stupid ass he was.

“What?”

“Why not?”

“Because they’re terrible for you? And you successfully stopped an addiction?”

“I still crave them, and who fuckin’ cares about that? I only stopped because...” Eridan stopped then. Sollux could see him grimace, and he looked just like he did three years ago. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Start them again. What do I care.”

“Alright,” Eridan said. Sollux knew what Eridan was doing, trying to goad him into caring about him so obviously like he had for months, collecting articles on the toxins and what Eridan’s lungs were going to look like, constant reminders of their elementary school horrors. But it wasn’t going to work. Sollux was good at pretending not to care. Because he didn’t.

But... Eridan was also stupid enough to start up a really addicting substance again just to spite him... wasn’t he?

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do. But anyways. Sol, I was wonderin’, can I come to the weddin’?”

“Shh, I’m trying to listen for the cicadas,” Sollux replied, and he mused on how Eridan used to mock him for finding them calming.

“They’ll make quite the racket soon. Is that a no?”

“Ask my mom. It’s her wedding.”

“So you’d be alright with it?” Sollux sighed. He was so transparent.

“I guess so.” Eridan broke out into a wide grin. Sollux smiled as well, but only because the temperature getting cooler with the sun down and the summer night around him. There was something about that, the comfort of it all, that made him feel alive.

“You know, caffeine’s a drug,” Eridan said. Sollux could hear the overt smirk even if it were getting almost too dark to see.

“I don’t drink coffee anymore,” Sollux said. “Not all drugs are bad. Caffeine has good benefits too. And some drugs you just need. But you already know that’s a bullshit excuse for cigarettes.”

“You used to down like ten cups of coffee a day,” Eridan noted. Sollux sighed. It was an exaggeration, but not much of one.

“I think that is a perfect example of how you really don’t know anything about me anymore,” he said.

“Why don’t you tell me?”

“If you cared to know, you could’ve texted me.”

“Back to this? If you cared to tell me you woulda told me.”

“Well, obviously I didn’t.”

“Fine. Tell me to go if you don’t care at all,” Eridan said, voice edged and brass again. It took Sollux a little off guard. He guessed Eridan was too comfortable in their peaceful bubble to just storm off. It felt so much more direct, though. With Eridan leaving, it was his choice. Sollux was apathetic enough to not chase after him, but to actually send Eridan away? And it was obvious after Sollux’s hissy fit earlier that he did, in fact, want to spend time with Eridan.

Before Sollux could respond, headlights lit them up, and Sollux nearly didn’t leave the road because he was distracted by how cute Eridan looked with the green and black of his hair and the way it made his chest warm. Eridan yelled at him to move, though, so he did, though it was all long before the car was close. They weren’t complete idiots: the road was straight and flat ahead of them.

“So?” Eridan said, after the car had zoomed past. It was funny, almost, that Eridan really thought Sollux would fail at being apathetic. Numbness was his thing. And it always was going to be, forever on. Not even Eridan could fix that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> of part II  
> !!  
> Let's hope I can keep up speed once I catch up


	5. Remaneo II

Sollux realised he was hesitating, and Eridan had a smile burgeoning on his face. It was exhausting.

“Go,” Sollux said, clipped and exasperated like he meant it, and it took a second for Eridan to digest it. But he did. He looked hurt again, stung like when Sollux had said they weren’t friends. But when he got up to comply, to leave , and it was honestly Sollux’s fault, everything felt like it would turn empty, like despair. Sollux stood up. Before he could think to counter what he said, he pulled Eridan into a hug. “Asshole.” Eridan just stood still for a second, shocked, before he tentatively put an arm around Sollux too. At that point, it was too awkward, and Sollux pushed away and sat back down like he didn’t display such an embarrassing display of affection. Eridan sat down beside him, and Sollux was surprised he was still so shy and not gloating.

“So why don’t you drink coffee anymore?” he asked.

“Revved me up too much,” Sollux replied honestly, as if that were the whole story. Eridan could tell that it wasn’t: Sollux could see as much. But, thankfully, he didn’t press. “Why did you stop smoking?” At that, Eridan bit his lip and picked at his collar again.

“I felt like a degenerate, smokin’ and poppin’ pills. Decided to choose one. The classier one,” Eridan said. Then the idiot bit his lip and looked up to the dusky sky that showcased Jupiter in its backdrop’s decreasing illumination. “Don’t worry, I haven’t been high in a while.”

“Popping pills? Really, ED?”

“See, everyone I knew thought it was cool. Of course, you don’t.”

“Is that supposed to be some sort of insult? That I don’t find drugs cool?” Sollux laid down on the ground beside Eridan. Despite his concern, it really did feel calming and important and maybe something close to happiness to be learning about Eridan, learning these things.

“Honestly, what else did you expect from me?”

“I guess you’re right.” The cicadas were quite loud now, filling up all the silence with the backtrack of his and Eridan’s time together and their time apart. “Are you... okay?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you going to... are you done? Is something... wrong?”

“Everythin’’s always wrong,” Eridan said. “But no, I’m done with the pills. I can’t risk that right now.”

“Why?”

“Why is everythin’ always wrong or why am I done?”

“Both.”

“Existence is just like that. Am I wrong?”

“I mean, I guess not,” Sollux said, though it didn’t really answer the question. He guessed he’d probably say the same thing, but he was fucking crazy, so there was that.

“This one time, though, when I was high on some shit, I started writin’ a whole book on the meanin’ of life. When I sobered up, I realised I’d just talked in detail about the Loch Ness Monster.” Sollux snorted. “I mean, granted, it was well thought out. I wrapped the concepts of belief and evolution and time and shit all in that bundle of misspelt words.”

“I did something similar, actually, though I was sober, “ Sollux admitted. “But it was about coding and how we’re living in a simulation.”

“Sounds more coherent.”

“It wasn’t really.” Sollux had also believed he was essentially a god, given his mastery of coding in our world, while he was still paranoid of the fact he was nothing more than a simulation himself. Also, that his godlike-powers of coding were the reason he could hear voices of the soon-to-be dead, and that ghosts were fragmented coding left over. But Eridan didn’t need to know that. The fact he could even talk about it, though, think about it, with someone who made him feel like someone else (himself), it meant too much.

“Do you really think that then, since you weren’t high?” Eridan asked. Sollux shrugged, a small stone digging into his shoulder as he did so. He had been high, though, essentially. He had been. But all of those layers were nothing Eridan needed to see. Like how Sollux didn’t need to see a discernible blanket over him to feel the weight, comfort, and warmth of summer dusk.

“I mean it’s a good theory, but who am I to know what to believe?”

“Sol, car,” Eridan said, gesturing to the length of distance in front of them. Sollux scooted out of the way. The car took forever to pass since Eridan had pointed it out before they’d even been able to hear it. He went to lie beside Eridan again, once it had passed, because there was no place he felt he’d rather be.

“I still believe in God,” Eridan said. “Somehow.”

“Right. Lutheran boy.”

“Well, my dad’s Evangelist.”

“Like I know the difference?”

“Well, both are Christian.”

“Yeah, I think I got that much.”

“I just have to think God’s there because I feel him. Or her,” Eridan laughed. “But he’s there, you know?” Sollux thought about it.

“I don’t really.” But he could feel the stars materialising in the crystal clear sky, the sound of the cicadas, the warmth radiating of Eridan sitting right beside him. He could feel his stomach hurt and his vision blur. But no, he couldn’t feel God. His soon-to-be stepdad used to tell him that would fix him, a lot. That there was a hole in him where God was supposed to be. Maybe that was true. It didn’t mean he could buy the concept as real.

“I still believe in science more than anythin’, of course,” Eridan said.

“Never said you didn’t.”

“The two can coincide fine.”

“I’m not quite as bad as I used to be,” Sollux smirked. “We do grow.”

“I bet God loves Nessie,” Eridan said. Sollux busted up laughing in a fit. The bursting joy felt echoing into the numbers making up this simulation more than anything since everything got messed up. Sollux couldn’t tell if that were something he should be worried about, the fact that his happiness was somehow peaking again, but he wasn’t going to stop unnecessarily. The talking came so easily when they were talking about anything besides the elephant in the room, the lack of each other’s presence over the last few years. It was getting late when Sollux dragged the conversation back to something meaningful. It chilled the mood, but he’d meant to wrap everything up anyways. His phone was dead, and his mom didn’t know where he was.

“When are you going to leave?”

“What?” Eridan whispered, asking as if he didn’t understand the only reason why Sollux’s demeanour would shift like it did.

“When are you going to leave here again?”

“Um...” Eridan paused. He was also lying down now, but he was on his side because he didn’t trust they’d be able to hear the cars well enough. It didn’t look comfortable, with his head right beside the line in the middle of the road his feet curled at the shoulder, his side digging into the concrete. “I dunno, Sol. I’m sorry.”

“You’re full of bullshit.”

“Sol...”

“Just tell me? Alright? Does your dad have a meeting back here? When is it? Is it really that soon?”

“It’s not...” Eridan sat up, and Sollux followed. He couldn’t see it, but he was sure there was a bunch of small little gravel specks and dirt all over his back. “I’ll stay, alright?”

“What?” Now Sollux was very confused. “What the fuck does that mean, you’ll ‘stay’? Are you saying you have a choice in the matter?”

“Kinda?”

“Are you making promises you can’t keep?” Sollux thought the amount of emotion in his voice could chill the fuck out now .

“Not really. No. I can do it. It’s just gonna be tricky.”

“Are you purposefully being vague?”

“What? No!”

“Why should I trust you?” Sollux stood up; he hadn’t told Eridan he had planned on going back at all, but he felt like it was time. Eridan caught the gist of it, and stood up too, following him as they started to walk. Eridan didn’t respond for a few steps in.

“I dunno Sol. I haven’t broken a promise to you, have I? I mean. I’ve never given you a reason not to trust me.” Sollux pondered that, as a warm breeze swept against his bare arms.

“So what do you mean by that, though? Are you moving back? How could you just convince your dad to do that?”

“Let’s just say... there’s no business he needs besides a man he’s workin’ with here till September, and I know we can stay till then. After that, I mightn’t be able to promise you 100%, but it looks like his business is pickin’ up here, again, and it’s not like he’s fuckin’ that girl anymore.”

“You’d have to get re-enrolled. And like... fuck, do you own your house here, even?”

“I’m sure those wouldn’t be problems for my dad,” Eridan said to his lap. Was he now embarrassed by his privilege? Sollux shrugged.

“Guess not. But you don’t... know past September?”

“I’m just really scared, alright? I dunno. Stop badgerin’ me.”

“You were just promising me you’d stay. Fucking hell. Are you just going to disappear on me again and show up in six years and making this fucking geometric?”

“What? No. I mean. I’m sorry. I don’t. I’ll be here until September, probably after. Can that please just be enough for now? It’s already hard enough.” Sollux desperately wanted to get more information from him, to demand he stay or not slither his way back into Sollux’s heart, but there was something in Eridan’s tone that was catching. Sollux sometimes found it ridiculous, Eridan complaining about his life when he had all the money anyone could dream of, but he was also a poster-child to just how spoiled rich kids don’t really have everything.

“Okay. If you leave before September, though, I’ll never speak to you again.”

“Oh.. okay. Yeah,” Eridan responded dejected. It was funny, how Eridan honestly couldn’t see it was an empty threat. Not because Sollux didn’t intend that, but if Eridan really had even shot him up a message in the last few years, if he left tomorrow and tried to skype him the next day, nothing would stop Sollux from responding. It wasn’t Eridan’s fault if he had to move. And somehow the boy was under his skin.

“What time is it?” Sollux asked.

“Ten past ten.”

“Really? Fuck. I forgot how light it stays.” Had the sun really been gone for over an hour, though? They really lost track of time. But they arrived back at Sollux’s apartment shortly. Sollux had expected Eridan to say goodbye at the entrance, but instead, they walked up the artificially lit stairway up to the apartment together, and they sneaked in the way Eridan had the day before.

When they came into the kitchen, however, Sollux’s mom was there, and she looked furious.

“Where were you? You missed the dinner!”

“The... dinner?”

“The one with Steven’s parents?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. It slipped my mind,” Sollux said. It honestly did. He wanted to explain to her the reason because this wasn’t an irregular occurrence, but Eridan was there, so he couldn’t. “Honestly.” Sollux glanced over at Eridan who was looking uncomfortable. “Can Eridan come to the wedding?”

“Fine, whatever. Just, answer your phone? I can text you reminders,” she said. Sollux felt tight, hot embarrassment. He chanced another glance at Eridan, who still just looked uneasy.

“Sorry.”

“Alright.” Sollux felt bad, almost, that she wasn’t angrier than this. “Is Eridan spending the night?”

“Uh...” Sollux hadn’t thought to ask him, but he guessed it was rather late now, and Eridan still hadn’t gone home. He turned to Eridan. “Do you want to?” Eridan’s eyes went wide. Sollux presumed it was because he offered too much, said something out of place. For fuck’s sake, Eridan and he had spent the whole day together, essentially.

“Yes,” Eridan said quietly, as if that were wrong, even though Sollux had been the one to ask. He pulled out his phone to text his dad.

“I guess so,” Sollux said to his mother.

“Okay. Now, remember, tomorrow night, your new cousin is going to arrive, so you’ll need to be here by six. And then the day after is the wedding, you can’t miss anything on that schedule, alright?”

“Okay,” Sollux said, as if he had meant to miss the dinner tonight. But the wedding wasn’t going to slip his mind. He’d solidated that one. She said another alright before she left to her room, leaving Eridan and Sollux in the hallway between the kitchen, living room, and Sollux’s bedroom across the way. Sollux turned to head to the bedroom, and Eridan followed, almost cautiously, as if watching for those two floorboards that squeaked.

When back in his room, Sollux realised what a mess it really was. He felt really bad and quickly started tidying up, pulling out the old, stygian couch cushions that made a good impromptu mattress and throwing down a navy, wool blanket and white pillow.

“I’m sorry about the mess. I really did only get to the kitchen.” Eridan smirked at that, and it kind of hurt.

“It’s wonderful, trust me.”

“I’m probably going to code for a while. Haven’t been up that long.”

“Is it alright if I crash? I have.”

“Of course.”

As so they did. It was weird, the routines people can slip back into.

**Author's Note:**

> This came to me like a dream, first chapter originally posted 2016-03-16.   
> please let me know what you think! I really have been thinking about this and writing it over the years, and would love any feedback!


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